Here’s another good reason to remain unpregnant. So as not to fuck up ‘our Lord and Father’s’ creation. Who says so? Elizabeth May, well-known pro-pregnancy person, and leader of the Green Party.
According to the London Free Press, yesterday May made an ass of herself.
Preaching in London about the threat of climate change, Green party Leader Elizabeth May brought herself to tears yesterday, not for children who will inherit the Earth, but for the God she believes created it. . . “We have a moral obligation to our Lord and Father to ensure we don’t destroy the creation that was given to us,” she said.
Got that? ‘Moral obligation’. Isn’t that nuanced?
In addition to making herself cry, she made a further ass of herself by saying:
Borrowing a quote she said was made by a foreign dignitary about Prime Minister Stephen Harper, May said his stance on climate change “represents a grievance worse than Neville Chamberlain’s appeasement of the Nazis.”
Got that? Nazis.
Then May made a funny:
Turning her focus to the south, May, who was born in the U.S., said too many Americans profess to be Christians but can’t recite the Ten Commandments.
“(Some) believe Joan of Arc was Noah’s sister,” she said.
Are we puking yet? No? Dig this.
May was escorted to the pulpit by the man who defeated her five months ago in in the London-North-Centre byelection — Liberal MP Glen Pearson, who likened her to an Old Testament prophet.
“She is one such prophet.”
Regulate pregnancy! Save future unborn generations from living in a country run by flaming IJITS!
h/t to pogge at Breadnroses
Now, fern hill, ah know that you don’t really have evil in yore heart. Ah feel shore that you are not a bad person, even though yore anger is blindin’ you to the miracle of the life-force jes’ now. If you could just set down with mah friend Lizzie May an’ listen to her therapeutic words, ah’m shore she could save you from the life of wretched abandon an’ embitterment yore followin’ raht now.
BLANCHE here, you know, the one who is so wonderful she writes her name in capitals in the capitol. Which she fully intends to take over any day now.
I’ve been talking to GAWD, we had coffee together this morning. I like having coffee with Gawd because I don’t have to roll my own cigarettes, Gawd just smiles and there they are, already lit, for both of us.
Anyway, Gawd was musing about uteruses, uterii, and the band U2 and I asked her about Lizzie May being an Old Testament prophet. I do so like to hear Gawd laugh, it’s a real belly laugh, just rolls out of her. She said the guy who made that statement is lacking brain cells and has a truly Gawd-awful vocabulary because Lizzie May isn’t an old testament prophet at all, she’s one of the pillars of the patriarchs.
Gawd reminded me “thou shalt know them by their works”, reminded me, too, “I am come that ye may have life and have it more abundantly”. Says that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to have a litter of little ones or spawn abundantly, it means WE are to have more abundant lives, an abundance of quiet peace, even tranquillity and joy. So BLANCHE here asked Gawd about, you know, hell and damnation and all that and Herself just shook her head and said and I quote “yeah verily that is sheepshit”. Reminded me of wolves in sheeps clothing, false prophets, and the three things expected of us: faith, hope, and love, and of these the greatest is love. SO I said well, Gawd, sez I, I find it hard to love Lizzie May, I’m sorry. And Gawd said, ah, it’s okay, BLANCHE, I can relate to that, not to worry, I won’t hold it against you. Gawd also pointed out it is hubris to think that such flawed arstles as ourselves can destroy the earth She created. Gawd said we’re very likely going to wipe ourselves out but the Rocky Mountains will still be here and so will the Great Lakes and all other wonders and marvels of Her creation. I said yeah, but they’ll be a mess and she said BLANCHE my dear, a thousand years are but a day in My sight, it won’t but take me one morning to put it all right again.
Then we had some more coffee and another cigarette, and started a fine conversation but then the Archangel Michael arrived and Gawd rolled her eyes and said Oh well, duty calls I suppose, and she and Mike left together. Mike’s nice enough but, you know how it is, even archangels can be a pain in the toosh at times, showing up unnanounced and bearing forewarnings and frowning mighty frowns.
However, before She left, Gawd said as far as She was concerned we’re all in her good books and she pointed out something even BLANCHE hadn’t thought of…Gawd likes unused uteruses, that’s why all female children, who we know are perfect and free of sin, are born with unused uterus. Gawd said if she had intended the uterus to be used at all times those little girls would be born already pregnant.
I’d never even considered that before.
Made me wonder about unused penises but Gawd was off with Mike before I’d made it that far in my pursuit of logic so I guess I’ll have to wait for the next visit. But just in case… maybe we’d all better make sure those penises remain unused for anything except pee’ing.
It’s the GREEN crusades.
Yo, My children. What’s up with Lizzie, has she lost it? She needs to chill!
To tell you the truth (and The Almighty always tells the truth, “Thou Shalt Not Lie” etc.), I’m starting to get a little embarrassed by politicians invoking My Name and making silly-ass pronouncements about “morals”. Most of these people wouldn’t know a moral if it bit them in the ass. Anyway, The Almighty doesn’t want anything to do with politics, and if people keep trying to bring Me into it, I might have to lay some vengeance upon them.
Amen and go Canucks go.
You people attack God a lot when the problem isn’t God, it is PEOPLE. you’re transferring all of this hostility and hatred on a being Who didn’t actually do anything to hurt you. It’s the stupid people who make the choices, it’s people who fail, it’s people who lie.
Anyway, any Christian knows or should know that not everyone’s called to be a mom or dad.
I would like to request that The Almighty go to my church and bitchslap my pastor, though.
BLANCHE here. I am the one so wonderful I write my name in capitals, yea, even in the capitol.
“You people attack God a lot when the problem isn’t God, it is PEOPLE.”.. ” a being Who didn’t actually do anything to hurt you”…”any Christian knows or should know that not everyone’s called to be a mom or dad”.
Called?If we waited for people to be “called” to parenthood we wouldn’t be visiting this site.
You’re sure this “being” exists, eh? And you’re sure this being’s name is God? Not Charlene, or Lucy, or Sue?
How do you know this being exists? How do you know “God” gives a fat rats’ ass?
And as for Christians knowing… uh huh. Most of them know only that which has been stuffed into their heads since birth. What, really, do they “know” ?
Why wait for the Almighty to go to your church to take a whack at the pastor? Why not do it yourself? For that matter why even GO to that church if the one sermonizing and outlining dictum is a gomer? Why sit on your ass and wait for some being to do what you are perfectly capable of doing yourself? You think Chummy-up-front is apostate? Stand up and say so.
Not going to do you any good to come here and complain, WE aren’t going to intercede for you. WE don’t even attend that mass gathering. Or gathering of mass as the case may be.
And we don’t really do a lot of “bitchslapping” around here. We leave that to those who follow the Prince of Peace, you know , the Gentle Prophet. The one the wingnuts claim inspired them to shoot doctors and blow up clinics, the one they claim “told” them to harrass women and try to force their obsessions down everybody else’s throats.
Bitch. Great word. Attempts have been made to turn it into a put-down. Well, Ceridwen is a goddess figure, she is present at all births and at all deaths. She is accompanied by a swarm of jet black bitches with burning red eyes. She is the ultimate bitch. And when the Romans, and after them the Christians, moved against the old religion they had trouble trying to oust Ceridwen whose followers were called bitches and sons-of-bitches. Many bitches were slaughtered. They died knowing Ceridwen would come for them, toss them into the cauldron, boil away all pain and fear and they would at some point re-emerge. The cauldron of immortality.
They met in the hawthorne groves and taught the old knowledge. So , of course, the oppressors raided the hawthorne groves and slaughtered everyone found in them, and to this day there are some people who think hawthorne brings bad luck, they just don’t remember why.
I’m a bitch. My daughter is a bitch. I sincerely hope my grandgrrrrls will grow into bitches. I hope my grandsons become real sons of bitches!
Bitchslap your pastor? Sweetie, we wouldn’t waste our time.